This is a true story from the early days of living in our new house. It seems comical now, but nothing is funny at 4am.
Scene I- 4am
Baby awakes. Mama feeds baby. Dad sleeps. Baby returns to sleep uneventfully.
Scene II- 4:01am
Smoke alarm beeps. Waking up mama, while everyone else is blissfully asleep.
Scene III- 4:15am
Dad's alarm goes off for work. Smoke alarm continues to beep. Mom goes downstairs, miraculously finds the exact box containing exactly one 9 volt battery for a smoke alarm. Returns upstairs with battery and step stool.
Scene IV- 4:21am
Dad pulls down the offending smoke alarm. Opens battery compartment only to discover that this smoke alarm takes 2 AA batteries.
Scene V- 4:25am
Mom returns to the box, only to discover that there are zero AA batteries in the whole house. Returns dejectedly upstairs to report this to Dad.
Scene VI-4:30am
Dad reports that the smoke alarm he pulled down is not in fact the smoke alarm that is beeping.
Scene VII-4:31am
In which everyone wanders around looking for what the #&$^@*@&$ is making all that noise.
Scene VIII-4:40am
Mom and Dad discover that a carbon monoxide detector, in a different box, has a low battery and is making the infernal beeping. It takes one 9 volt battery.
Scene IX-4:41am
Mom returns to the battery box and pulls out the 9 volt battery. It is a brand A battery in a brand B box- it is a dead 9 volt battery. There are no working 9 volt batteries in the house to replace the beeping carbon monoxide detector.
Scene X-4:45am
Batteries removed from beeping device. Dad heads off to work. Mama heads back to bed. Baby has mercifully slept through the whole darn thing.
We bought batteries that day. All fire safety devices are fully functioning and awaiting another inconvenient time to wake us up again.
