Monday, December 14, 2015

Why everyone is wrong about Winter

Everyone is wrong about winter.  But not in the way you think.

You probably know the big 3 of winter- snow, ice, and cold.  People love to complain about them.  We celebrate when the temperature rises, we curse the snow, we do everything we can to stay inside and keep warm.

There are tons of people who LOVE winter, and spend their winter months trying to convince everyone to get out and enjoy it.  Go skiing, they say!  Find a sled, some snowshoes, some ice skates- winter is only dull if you stay inside and don't enjoy it!  Dress well, they say!  'There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing' they say!

I don't entirely disagree with these people- winter activities can be quite enjoyable.  But, these people miss the point about the true enemy of winter.

Here is the truth about the TRUE enemy of winter.  It is NOT snow, it is NOT cold, it is NOT ice.

For the average person, the TRUE ENEMY of winter is STATIC ELECTRICITY.

Note 1: For those facing homelessness, hunger, and poverty cold IS actually a very deadly enemy.  Please consider contributing to organizations that provide shelter and warm clothing for them.  I recommend Interfaith Outreach and Community Partners, http://iocp.org/, a Twin Cities organization which provides services to help people rise out of poverty and thrive.  
Note 2: For those at risk of injury in case of a fall, ice IS the enemy.  Encourage your older friends and relatives to stay safe, and consider visiting them so they are not isolated by maintaining their safety.

Let me explain how static is the true enemy.  Snow and ice and cold can be avoided.  It is easy enough to stay inside with a blanket and cup of cocoa.  Yes, winter driving is the worst, but once you get where you're going, you are free from the terror of the roads until you go back outside.  The big 3 are avoidable through hibernation.  But static- static is unavoidable.

Static is everywhere.  You don't leave it outside like the snow and ice.  Blankets just make it worse.  Snow isn't a personal attack on you. But STATIC is personal.  Static comes into your home to threaten you at the most innocuous of times.

Here are ways that static has cruelly and personally injured me:

  • Static shocks me inside of my ears when I put on my headphones.
  • Static shocks both myself and my husband EVERY TIME I try to kiss him in the winter months.  This is cruel not only because of the pain to the sensitive skin of your lips, but because of the deep distrust of kisses it instills in us during the winter.
  • Static shocks me every time I close my car door. Regardless of the fact that I'm wearing gloves, or try to close the car door with my elbow.  Every time.
  • Static won't allow me to safely remove my clothes from the dryer. 
  • Static shocks me through the handles of every grocery cart throughout the winter.  Again, oblivious to gloves or rubber handles, static follows me around the grocery story reminding me again and again and again who's truly in charge here.
Does snow injure you when you caress your lover?  Does ice follow you through your home?  Of course not!  I tell you, friends, the true scourge of winter is static electricity.  It is rampant, it is hostile, and it is inescapable.  What has static done to you?

So, dear friends, I urge you to share the truth of the true scourge of winter.  
Stay grounded,
Nissa