This is not a post about how to BECOME tall. You'll need to refer to genetics and nutrition for that. This is a post about BEING tall. Because being tall is very different than being short. Or being regular height.
I am a tall lady. I'm just a tad shy of 6' tall, but even that often sets me as the tallest person in a room, and certainly the tallest lady. (Unless of course I'm in a room with anyone I'm related to- then I tend to feel short)
So with my vast years of experience being tall, here are my tips on how to BE tall:
1. Come up with a witty response to annoying questions.
No, I don't play basketball- do you play miniature golf? I'm 6' tall, how short are you? The weather's awesome up here- it rains gumdrops every day! Seriously, it gets old after a while. The trick is to answer these questions being witty but not rude. Rudeness has its place, but not usually with people who know you poorly enough to ask such silly questions.
2. Learn to enjoy your ankles and your wrists.
Seriously. You'll be seeing them often, as every shirt and pair of pants you own is probably too short. Thumb holes in sleeves? Won't ever work. My 6'6" brother is all torso- he probably hasn't successfully tucked in a shirt since he was 8 years old. On rare occasions that you find 'tall' items in stores, you will rejoice.
3. Stand up straight.
You will have enough back problems from dealing with a world made for short people. Don't make it worse by slouching. This can be a challenge if you are self-conscious of your height and don't want to stick out (ahem, teenage girls), or if you need to hear a conversation among short people. When I sing in my church choir I often take a comedically wide stance to lower my ears to a level that I can actually hear the shorties next to me.
4. Wear what you want*.
NOBODY gets to tell me I can't wear high heels. I don't wear high heels, but that's mostly because they're uncomfortable. Partly because I already can't hear people during conversations because my ears are a foot higher, but for the most part my height doesn't dictate my shoe choice. Don't fall for the magazine articles telling you how to look taller or slimmer or whatever. Wear what you like. And what fits. And is comfortable. And you can afford.
*But please don't wear inappropriately short dresses. If you try it on and you can't tell if it's supposed to be a shirt or a dress, it probably was made for someone way shorter than you. Put it back!
5. Don't be vain (maybe a little proud, but not obnoxious).
Enjoy your tallness, but don't lord it over people like it makes you better than them. We all know that one guy who is a pain in the neck about how wonderful he is. My guess is he's a tall guy- and his ego matches his height. In my experience, short guys are nice and tall guys are full of themselves. This is not a universal truth, OK? These are my impressions from my high school days, not the real world. And I'm NOT talking about you, whoever you are- unless you're my brother, because operation-ego-deflation was invented because of you.
6. Never apologize for being tall.
Obviously there's no reason to. But people might try to make you feel bad for the genetic hand they were dealt. Or might try to make you feel like there's something wrong with you. There isn't. You are the way you are and you can't change it (nor should you want to).
7. Help out the little people.
Grocery stores are a place we never have trouble, but sometimes short people can't reach that last box of Cap'n Crunch. Help the little old ladies out! I once saved a short mom from an acrobatic feat involving her pre-schooler to get a box of cereal. Ma'am, put the child down. I've got this. Who's the super hero now?
8. Customize.
Just because the standard sink is about as tall as your shins doesn't mean you need to put up with that. Houses have things that can change*. Buy a tall sink. Put it on a pedastal. Raise your mirror up another 6 inches so you can see your face. Ditch the head-endangering chandelier for any other non-lethal form of lighting.
*unless you're renting, in which case too bad for you.
9. Your height doesn't dictate your relationships.
Being tall doesn't define who you can or cannot date. Or marry. Or be friends with. My darling husband is much shorter than me. And we joke about it all the time. But he's great and wonderful and I love him- because he's a great person, not because of his height or his looks or any aspect of his appearance. Don't be shallow. Love who you love, and don't let anyone tell you it's not OK.
10. I don't have a tenth thing, but a list of 9 seems weird.
There it is- my definitive wisdom about how to be tall.
Nissa
